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Waitress In A Sushi-Bar

Boy meets girl and they fall in love.

So far so good...

But things are hardly ever this simple, otherwise there would never be any great

literature or love-songs or plays or movies.

Otherwise this humble spectator of human behaviour would have been out of gas

before he had even started...

So, boy meets girl who is working as a waitress in a sushi-bar.

She tells him she’s not really a waitress, but an actress preparing for her

role in a movie called “The Sushi-Bar Waitress In Distress”.

She is also telling him about the acting lessons she is taking at the Actors Studio

and the “Method” she’s being taught to use reality to deepen her performance.

Most people falling in love are not this straightforward about the roles they play.

But he, intoxicated by her appearance and his dreams, hardly hears anything

she says. He is lost in the shape and movement  of her lips and all he thinks is

Ain’t She Sweet


In his love-song he credits her with every quality a man is looking for

in the object of his adoration, in spite of the warnings of his friends and

relatives (she’s an actress and she plays a role).

She Loves Him

The waitress is dreaming of marriage and, in time, having a sushi-bar of their own.

The actress on the other hand is not so certain, but has to go along for the sake

of Sushi, for the sake of Art!

Made In Russia

A side-step into the history of acting and the birth of the “Method”.

An hommage to Konstantin Stanislawski...

Box Office

The movie is out and breaking box-office records and she is nominated

for the Academy Awards.

She’s not winning the Oscar yet, but that’s only a matter of time...

The Sushi-Bar Days Aren’t Hay-da

The film-company is making big bucks, the director enters the top ten

and the actress is praised by the critics for her naturalness.

The audience simply adores her!

But then the sushi-bar days are over, and she has to prepare herself for

Her Next Role

She’ll be a singer in a popular but sleazy nightclub and gladly change

her clothes, hairdo and behaviour to fit into the suspect places she has to

frequent in order to play this role convincingly.

He doesn’t understand what is happening to her ...

Why Can’t You Behave

While she is out and exploring this new life he tries to make her settle down

by buying her the sushi-bar she wanted so much.

Alas, that ship has sailed a long time ago and her dreams and goals have changed

drastically again. She is learning how to use the cross-bow for her next movie

Annie Get Your Cross-Bow (Title music)

Filmed on location in Switserland after the original SF novel by Kilgore Trout.

The stunningly beautiful great-great-granddaughter of Wilhelm Tell has to free

the world from supremacy of the Monster Apples who are seeking to destroy

all that is sacred to mankind.

By SF logic they can only be killed when placed on the head of a young boy.

He Stays At Home

While she is crowding the Sunday-papers he stays at home to take care of

their son and the sushi-bar and collecting stamps of the postcards she sent.

The Borgia Project (Title music)

Loosely based on the song Poison Ivy

Based on another  Kilgore Trout novel this film is about the infamous Borgia

family of ancient Rome, known and feared for their expertise in the field of

poisonous relations. She is playing Lucretia, the most talented of them all...


There’s a buzz going ‘round in the Hollywood Hills and, to paraphrase my hero:

“And what is up the hills will even eventually come down”.

The Rumour

Partly out of spite, partly out of jealousy people start talking about her lifestyle

and the kind of roles she’s accepting (from the violent to the criminally insane)

but everytime he walks into a room conversation brakes like a flat tire.

According to the rumour her next role will be

Lizzy Borden (Title Music)

Lizrzy Boden is said to have killed her father and stepmother with an ax.

After her trial she became a kind of folk-heroine / bogey-woman with her

own children’s song.

The Penny Has Dropped

After barely escaping death by decapitation he finally begins to understand

what is causing these strange personality changes.

She is using the Stanislawski method topsy-turvily and instead of letting the

characters she plays benefit from her own experience, she lets them take

over her own personality...(Heavy stuff, huh!)

Where Is The Sweet Girl

Mourning his loss, blaming the Stanislawski mob and begging the

film-maker for:

“The Sushi-Bar Waitress In Distress Part 2”

and 3 and 4 and 5

etc. etc. etc.

ad infinitum.


A happy end? Maybe eventually but not as yet...

Life Is Like A Sushi-Bar

Where in a movie-theatre you’ll get the credits and people hurry

out to be the first to get their coats.

      Wim Oudijk

      © 2005


Play: “Sushi-Bar”

Play: “Where Is The Sweet Girl”

01 Overture

02 Sushi-Bar

03 Ain’t She Sweet

04 Matrushka

05  She Loves Him

06 Made In Russia

07 Box Office

08 Not Hay-Days

09 Her Next Role

10 Why Can’t You Behave

11 Annie Get Your Cross-Bow

12 He Stays At Home

13 The Borgia Project

14 Buzz

15 The Rumour

16 Lizzie Borden

17 The Penny Has Dropped

18 Where Is The Sweet Girl

19 Finale

20 Life Is Like A Sushi-B