Waitress In A Sushi-Bar
Boy meets girl and they fall in love.
So far so good...
But things are hardly ever this simple, otherwise there would never be any great
literature or love-songs or plays or movies.
Otherwise this humble spectator of human behaviour would have been out of gas
before he had even started...
So, boy meets girl who is working as a waitress in a sushi-bar.
She tells him she’s not really a waitress, but an actress preparing for her
role in a movie called “The Sushi-Bar Waitress In Distress”.
She is also telling him about the acting lessons she is taking at the Actors Studio
and the “Method” she’s being taught to use reality to deepen her performance.
Most people falling in love are not this straightforward about the roles they play.
But he, intoxicated by her appearance and his dreams, hardly hears anything
she says. He is lost in the shape and movement of her lips and all he thinks is
Ain’t She Sweet
Matrushka
In his love-song he credits her with every quality a man is looking for
in the object of his adoration, in spite of the warnings of his friends and
relatives (she’s an actress and she plays a role).
She Loves Him
The waitress is dreaming of marriage and, in time, having a sushi-bar of their own.
The actress on the other hand is not so certain, but has to go along for the sake
of Sushi, for the sake of Art!
Made In Russia
A side-step into the history of acting and the birth of the “Method”.
An hommage to Konstantin Stanislawski...
Box Office
The movie is out and breaking box-office records and she is nominated
for the Academy Awards.
She’s not winning the Oscar yet, but that’s only a matter of time...
The Sushi-Bar Days Aren’t Hay-da
The film-company is making big bucks, the director enters the top ten
and the actress is praised by the critics for her naturalness.
The audience simply adores her!
But then the sushi-bar days are over, and she has to prepare herself for
Her Next Role
She’ll be a singer in a popular but sleazy nightclub and gladly change
her clothes, hairdo and behaviour to fit into the suspect places she has to
frequent in order to play this role convincingly.
He doesn’t understand what is happening to her ...
Why Can’t You Behave
While she is out and exploring this new life he tries to make her settle down
by buying her the sushi-bar she wanted so much.
Alas, that ship has sailed a long time ago and her dreams and goals have changed
drastically again. She is learning how to use the cross-bow for her next movie
Annie Get Your Cross-Bow (Title music)
Filmed on location in Switserland after the original SF novel by Kilgore Trout.
The stunningly beautiful great-great-granddaughter of Wilhelm Tell has to free
the world from supremacy of the Monster Apples who are seeking to destroy
all that is sacred to mankind.
By SF logic they can only be killed when placed on the head of a young boy.
He Stays At Home
While she is crowding the Sunday-papers he stays at home to take care of
their son and the sushi-bar and collecting stamps of the postcards she sent.
The Borgia Project (Title music)
Loosely based on the song Poison Ivy
Based on another Kilgore Trout novel this film is about the infamous Borgia
family of ancient Rome, known and feared for their expertise in the field of
poisonous relations. She is playing Lucretia, the most talented of them all...
Buzz
There’s a buzz going ‘round in the Hollywood Hills and, to paraphrase my hero:
“And what is up the hills will even eventually come down”.
The Rumour
Partly out of spite, partly out of jealousy people start talking about her lifestyle
and the kind of roles she’s accepting (from the violent to the criminally insane)
but everytime he walks into a room conversation brakes like a flat tire.
According to the rumour her next role will be
Lizzy Borden (Title Music)
Lizrzy Boden is said to have killed her father and stepmother with an ax.
After her trial she became a kind of folk-heroine / bogey-woman with her
own children’s song.
The Penny Has Dropped
After barely escaping death by decapitation he finally begins to understand
what is causing these strange personality changes.
She is using the Stanislawski method topsy-turvily and instead of letting the
characters she plays benefit from her own experience, she lets them take
over her own personality...(Heavy stuff, huh!)
Where Is The Sweet Girl
Mourning his loss, blaming the Stanislawski mob and begging the
film-maker for:
“The Sushi-Bar Waitress In Distress Part 2”
and 3 and 4 and 5
etc. etc. etc.
ad infinitum.
Finale
A happy end? Maybe eventually but not as yet...
Life Is Like A Sushi-Bar
Where in a movie-theatre you’ll get the credits and people hurry
out to be the first to get their coats.
Wim Oudijk
© 2005









Play: “Sushi-Bar”
Play: “Where Is The Sweet Girl”
01 Overture
02 Sushi-Bar
03 Ain’t She Sweet
04 Matrushka
05 She Loves Him
06 Made In Russia
07 Box Office
08 Not Hay-Days
09 Her Next Role
10 Why Can’t You Behave
11 Annie Get Your Cross-Bow
12 He Stays At Home
13 The Borgia Project
14 Buzz
15 The Rumour
16 Lizzie Borden
17 The Penny Has Dropped
18 Where Is The Sweet Girl
19 Finale
20 Life Is Like A Sushi-B